आज मैंने ऊँगली की - मेरे देश के भविष्य से

पहली बार ज़िन्दगी मैं, हमारी राष्ट्रभाषा मैं ब्लॉग लिखने की कोशिश कर रहा हूँ।
हिन्दी भाषा के प्रेमी, विशेषज्ञ, और बीते हुए कई विद्वानों की आत्माओं से मैं अपनी कच्ची भाषा की माफ़ी चाहूँगा।

आज हमारे देश के केंद्रीय चुनाव का चरण, मेरे शहर मुंबई मैं हुआ। काफ़ी दिनों से तमन्ना थी के मैं अपने देश के भविष्य मैं कुछ ऊँगली करूँ। आज मुझे ऊँगली करने का अच्छा अवसर मिला, वोह भी बीच वाली ऊँगली करने का!
सबसे अच्छी बात यह थी के अन्य जगहों पर ऊँगली करने से काफ़ी अलग, यहाँ, देश के भविष्य मैं ऊँगली करने के लिए केवल ३ मिनट का समय लगा।

३ मिनट मैं जितना ऊँगली करना था, हम कर लिए। सबूत के लिए, ऊँगली पर ऐसी दाग लगा दी सरकार ने के हम गाते ही रहगये - " लागा ऊँगली मैं दाग मिटाऊँ कैसे, घर जाऊं कैसे??"।
तीन मिनट से ज्यादा ऊँगली करने की सरकार ने इजाज़त न दी। उसके आगे पाँच साल तक ऊँगली करेंगे हमारे चुने हुए नेता। और हैरत की बात यह है के पाँच साल ऊँगली करने के बाद भी, उनपर एक भी दाग न होगा।

उम्मीद करता हूँ मेरे दोस्तों, आप सबने जी भर के ऊँगली की हमारे देश के भविष्य से। अगला मौका आसानी से हाथ न आएगा। और इस पाँच साल के दौरान, हाला के हम ऊँगली नही कर पाएंगे, हमारे पास होगा एक विशेष प्रजातान्त्रिक अधिकार। गांधीजी के प्रसिद्ध तीन बंदरों मैं से किसी एक का रूप और अंदाज़ धारण करने का हमें पूरा मौका दिया जाएगा।

याने - अगर सरकार और उनके शागिर्दों का किया बुरा देखे अथवा सुने, तो चुप्प रहिये। बाकी दो बंदरों के उपयोग का आप ख़ुद अनुमान लगायें।

आशा करता हूँ के आपके इलाके मैं सही ऊँगली-द्वार ,,, मेरा मतलब उम्मिद्वार चुन आए।

जय प्रजातंत्र । जय भारत माता । और पिता... जो भी चुन आए ।

Joy of a wireless home

I am obsessed with computers and the Internet and consider them to be my basic necessities after food, shelter and perhaps clothing ;-).

The last financial year has been a year when i spoilt myself with quite a few interesting gadgets. The latest one was a wireless router that i decided to install at my home, to enable my 2 PCs and mainly a laptop to get connected to each other and share a network connection.

Three-four years back, I first experimented with a wired LAN, with cables running through my room. Made one of my machines as a gateway and shared the internet connection. I had considered later to buy a linksys wireless kit, but during that time it costed about thrice as much as the conventional cabled network.  Inspite of the cables being called "CAT-5", rodents were not scared to take a nice bite at 'em. Thanks to their ruthless attacks, house repairs etc, the cabling failed and i got too bored to restore it.

Wireless At Last!

Lower Price:

Meanwhile i found that the price of a wireless router and adapters had reduced drastically. I ran to a neighborhood shop and purchased a router like i would buy a packet of biscuit. The price difference between the shop and the computer hardware mecca of our city - Lamington Road, was a couple of hundred bucks. I settled for a D-link DIR-300 model that costed me about 2 grands. 

Configuration with your internet provider:

Initially i couldnt connect to the internet because of a software that my cable operator uses to connect me (called Cyberroam 24 online). I fixed this by requesting them to make some changes on their side, which would connect me based on my IP and MAC address and not the software.  

Wireless security:

It is absolutely imperative to password protect a wireless connection. Few simple steps provided in the router configuration made my network invisible to the mean bad world outside, and also password protected it, just in case they spotted my signal.

Presto! now i can access the net without wires from any part of my home. My rodent guests now have no other choice but to feast on the Rat-kill biscuits.

Obama ka Kaarnama - please pay exact change!

When Barack Hussein Obama succeeded George W Bush, the entire world celebrated with hope that sanity would return to white house, after two five-year terms of what i would call - The planet of the Ape.

So there we were -  an  "New and Improved"(american marketers favorite chant) President of the United States surfing high on a hawaiian wave of hope with a very promising punchline - The change we need is here. ( applause... encores...fireworks around the world.... hopes and promises)

An amazing punchline which no hyped advertisement in the debt ridden nation of the United States would ever like to miss.

As a foreign layman observer sitting at a point which wakes when US sleeps, i agree with Obama-Saheb. The change that US needs, but perhaps doesn't want  is surely going to arrive... 

The change is nothing but the sound of the last few coins (the change) in the american pocket, after they are done with printing dollars indiscriminately without any underlying national productivity/ wealth, just to feed those who are spending without earning as much....  After they have realized that the gluttony of debt in the country is leading them nowhere and ... they wouldn't have the rest of the world bail them out.... The music of 'change' chinking in the american pocket would arrive indeed!

The change is nothing but the coppers and nickels that would eventually remain clinking in the american coffers after funding its own enemies (and that of humanity) - militarily and humanitarian. You may not guess too hard who these enemies are. For all you know the blood thirsty, sheep-skinned 'allies' of the american war against terrorism will bring the situation of 'change' faster?

Long and Hot weekend in Mumbai

The topic of the blog may seem like that of a fantasy episode, but the underlying experience is far from that.   I tried twittering my thoughts, but 160 characters is too short, and i dont fancy writing in SMS mnemonics. So here are few topics running through my mind:

The Weather:

If someone asks me.. whats up? .. my answer would be the mercury.... and for "Whats hot?"... certainly something else is hotter than Bips and Bebo (eeks)

Mumbaikars, with what they have been facing for the last whole week, would understand and empathize with the topic quickly.

In the last week we have faced temperatures soaring towards 40 degrees celcius, with high levels of humidity. The radiating heat during the day makes us realize what happens to our poor food in the microwave. Is this the revenge of the soul of the cabbage? Perhaps...I think soon we would be able to bake cookies out in the sun in ten minutes flat. No need to invest in an oven or the electricity/ gas to run it.

If Dr. Frost, the frozen villain of Batman, crept out of fiction, he would make millions for his freeze suit - i am sure!

Elections:

Olympics happen once in four years. We have a special sport in India too that happens once in five years (or sometimes bonus occurences to as much as 5 times a year).. They call it the union elections.. 

All of us know it is the biggest mockery of democracy, reoeating periodically ever since India became Independent from the Brits and then again enslaved by indigenous elements.  Ego's of individual voters are pumped to the extreme to tell them that the future of the country is in their hands, and that they have the right to choose..a goon or .. a goon.. and yet another goon.  and then for the remaining five years, they have no control on what happens in "their own" rule.

I would do my duty as a citizen for sure and vote for my favorite goon, while knowing that whoever wins would either split the country based on religion, or based on secular constitutional practices like caste reservations.  I will try and do my duty and worship the constitution that advocates for these practices;  and those holy people who make amends to this.

All set and done, election here is the biggest reality show, nothing gets more unreally real and raw as this.  You will find media sleeping with every possible politician. They would epitomize them now as much as they criticized and condemned their actions earlier- or perhaps vice versa. Now that political parties advertise and provide revenue to the media, in this recessionary times, their credibility and authenticity is certainly questionable. Nevertheless, news (read sensationalism)  in India with its overtures is meant to be consumed as entertainment rather than ... knowledge of whats happening. 

So grab your popcorn, get overwhelmed with the coverage, and get that purple stain on your index finger.

Long weekend

Idle brain and this hot and sultry weather gets the devil working. While the devil in your mind is busy, you get time to stay away from things that fatigue you otherwise...  For me.. its the terrible crowd, dust and pollution in this city. 

So here i am lazing and grazing on the Internet, keying some random thoughts.. 

For those of you who managed to reach so far... thanks for your time and feel rewarded for your patience levels! :-)